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Special Broadcasting Service,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
LeBron's lap of luxury
Basketball superstar LeBron James is well and truly under the pump. The Cleveland Cavaliers' franchise player may well be suiting up for his final game for the team as you read this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with the Cavs facing elimination from the NBA finals at the hands of the Boston Celtics.
Worse, James is coming off a woeful performance in front of his home fans in game five of the Cavs-Celtics series in which he scored just 15 points in a 120-88 loss. Given his free agency after the season's conclusion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], James was gently serenaded with a chorus of boos from fans expecting him to depart for a more storied franchise.
He's had a dud elbow and his Mr 15% is snowed under with work trying to sort out where he will play next season for some unimaginably massive pay packet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The poor guy needs a break.
So, thank you New York. The Knicks are among the hot favourites to secure James' services,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and the whole city,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it seems, is coming to the party. In the case of Scores gentlemen's club, quite literally.
General manager Ed Norwick has generously offered James free lap dances for life. Not from himself, hopefully. "I'm tired of going to Knicks games and . well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], going to Knicks games," Norwick said. "This is serious. He'd have open access to Scores - I'll even bring him in through a private entrance if he wants."
Norwick suggested that the lifetime offer "might push him over the top . if it's just about the money he wouldn't come [to New York]." James will also get a lifetime of free dinners at Robert's Restaurant, where he could be fed by a topless young lady or have a lap dance between courses. Where does the napkin go? Scores would also host "LeBron James Day" to celebrate the signing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in which all of the club's dancers would sport Knicks' jerseys when not in their birthday suits. Who could resist?
Yo-yo no-no
Here at The Circus we are unashamed fans of French video prankster Remi Gaillard. We've featured his Tour de France jape before in which he treated unsuspecting weekend cyclists to the full Tour experience - complete with jostling TV cameras,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fans cheering and mooning, champagne celebrations and post-stage interviews. He's popped up on the field after a French Cup final,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], joining one of the teams' celebrations and even shaking the hand of the French president.
Gaillard is also pretty handy with a soccer ball,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
But even the great Gaillard would tip his beret to K-Strass, a yo-yo "expert" who has fooled TV stations throughout the US Midwest with his much-hyped skills. Is yo-yo a sport? Is rhythmic gymnastics?
Not out of the Woods
For Tiger Woods the news keep getting worse and worse. There are reports that he and wife Elin will soon begin divorce proceedings in Sweden,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], his game has gone to the pot and rumours still persist that his famed SUV accident was caused when Elin took to him with a golf club after she discovered he had been shagging half of the world's population of porn stars and cocktail waitresses.
Now comes the news that he will again take a break from golf because of an inflamed joint in his neck. Tiger announced on his website that he has trouble moving his head from side to side,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Proof then that Tiger Woods just can't say no,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
The numbers game
63 - games played by English club Fulham this football season
19 - games played in the Europa Cup alone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], beginning last June
120 - exhausting minutes played in their final match for the season,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which cruelly went to extra-time
Quote of the day
"What they write about me having one foot in Madrid and one in Milan is false. (But) Sooner or later I will coach Real Madrid. I coached a big team in England,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I am coaching a big team in Italy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and then I will coach a big team in Spain."
- The Special One,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Jose Mourinho,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], douses the flames of speculation that he will leave Inter Milan for the Spanish giants by hurling petrol and a big handful of firecrackers at them
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